


Consequences of iPod-Theft

by EHyde



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Crossover, Gen, M/M, SHIELD, a vague yet menacing government agency - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 14:31:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHyde/pseuds/EHyde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It can't get much weirder than Norse gods and fire-breathing robots, right? That's what Darcy Lewis thought—until a vague, yet menacing, government agency reassigned her to work with a different scientist in another small desert town ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consequences of iPod-Theft

1.

“So um … I’m gonna get my iPod back, too, right?"

“Darcy Lewis,” says the man in the suit—Agent Coulson. He ignores her question. “You’ve managed to impress me.”

“So is that a yes?”

“Tell me really,” says Coulson. “After everything that’s happened, is getting your iPod back really your most pressing concern?”

Darcy shrugs. “I mean, sure, some Norse gods and a fire-breathing robot almost destroyed the town, but they’re gone now and it looks like you guys have the cleanup under control. So, yeah.” She pauses. A thought occurs to her. “Oh crap, this is all gonna be covered up, isn’t it? Does that mean I can’t get college credit?”

Coulson nods, more to himself than to Darcy. “Yes,” he says. “You’ll do perfect. College credit won’t be an issue, Ms. Lewis. You’re being reassigned.”

“… what do you mean, reassigned?” Darcy asks. “I don’t work for you.”

Coulson pulls Darcy’s iPod out of his suit jacket pocket and hands it to her. “You do now.”

2.

“Are you Carlos?” Darcy is standing, duffel bag over her shoulder, at the entrance to a makeshift laboratory which, from what she can see, is even more … makeshift … than Jane’s had been. And that’s saying something. But that’s cool, probably—she’d been preparing for the worst, worried that SHIELD had placed her with some stuffy government scientist at some sterile government lab.

The man standing in the doorway—dark skinned, cute, wearing a lab coat like a fashion statement—nods hesitantly.

“Darcy Lewis. I’m your new assistant,” says Darcy.

“That’s probably not a good idea,” Carlos replies.

“Well, it wasn’t mine,” says Darcy.

“Oh,” says Carlos. “I see.”

“… that’s all, just ‘I see?’” Darcy asks. “You’re not going to ask who sent me?”

“I assume it was a vague, yet menacing, government agency?”

“Er … yes?” And Carlos nods, like that was perfectly normal, and motions for her to come inside.

3.

“You’re not a scientist.”

“Nope,” says Darcy. “I was only working for Jane because no one else applied. Um. Jane Foster,” she supplies, on the off chance Carlos has ever heard of her.

His eyes light up. “The astrophysicist?” Darcy nods. “If you ever get the chance, tell her that her paper on Einstein-Rosen bridges was  _incredibly_  useful.”

“Will do,” says Darcy. She’d thought that paper was strictly theoretical, but hey. What does she know? “But yeah. I can make myself useful, do whatever grunt work needs doing … just don’t expect me to understand what’s going on.”

“No chance of that,” says Carlos. “Do you have any qualifications at all, though?”

“I tasered a god once,” Darcy volunteers.

“That’s probably more useful than a physics degree, really.”

4.

“Aw, crap.” Darcy was towards the back of the lab, scrubbing glassware. “I  _knew_  the men in black did something to my iPod.” It wouldn’t play anything but  _Die Young_  on endless repeat, and she was doing her best not to read too much into that.

“Might not have been them,” says Carlos. “Could just be Night Vale. I’ve got an old walkman, if you want.”

“Sure,” says Darcy. She takes the portable radio and plugs her headphones in. It doesn’t seem to get any music stations, just some local news thing. Whatever. But after a few more minutes of scrubbing … she looks across the lab to Carlos, who is also listening, to a larger radio sitting on the table next to him. He meets her gaze with a near-panicked expression, and she grins. “Had a hot date last night?” Carlos is making it incredibly obvious that he wishes his new assistant was doing just about  _anything_ besides listening to the radio host gush about their evening, but come on. Not. A. Chance.

5.

“So I guess you saved the town from the shadow people,” says Darcy. “I didn’t see any when the helicopter dropped me off, anyway.”

Carlos nods, then shakes his head. “I don’t know. I did something. Which technically shouldn’t have worked. But then  _technically_  there shouldn’t have been shadow people in the first place. The rules are different here.”

“Yeah, I kinda picked up on that,” says Darcy.

“It’s … this sounds crazy,” says Carlos. “I feel like the town needs me. Being here, doing science. Even though science doesn’t work in Night Vale. There was this man … he saved the town, saved  _me_ , with ‘Indian magics.’” Darcy raises her eyebrow. “I know,” says Carlos. “But science doesn’t work any better. Not really.”

“It has to work, though, doesn’t it?” Darcy asked. “I mean, it’s just one of those ‘sufficiently advanced technology is mistaken for magic’ situations, right?”

“No,” says Carlos. “It’s not that. I think … Night Vale needs someone to want it to be saved. Night Vale needs someone who will put all they can into something they believe in to save it. And I believe in science.”

6.

“Sorry if I messed up your self-reliance,” says Darcy.

“No, that’s …” Carlos trails off. “I had other assistants when I came here,” he says. “Some of them chose to leave.” He doesn’t say what happened to the others, but Darcy gets it. “We came here to study the town,” he says. “It was just a curiosity. And the ones who stayed, they never stopped seeing it that way. You’ll be different,” he reassures Darcy, and she gets the impression he’s trying to reassure himself as well. “Since they sent you here.”

“Your boyfriend, though, when he offered to help—he’s not like that,” says Darcy.

“No, it’s different with Cecil. He can’t help me save Night Vale,” says Carlos, “because he  _is_  Night Vale.”

“Huh,” says Darcy.

“I don’t understand it either,” says Carlos.

“But is he as gorgeous as he sounds like he would be?”

Carlos’ eyes light up and Darcy almost regrets asking.

7.

Darcy’s first night goes well enough. She doesn’t have an apartment yet, so SHIELD—or some other government agency; she’s not actually sure—put her up in an underground facility outside of town. The commute is a pain, but other than that it’s a whole lot nicer than the RV she shared with Jane and Dr. Selvig. It’s even got HBO.

All in all, Darcy thinks, she could get used to living here. Yeah, it sucks that she can’t go back to college like she’d planned but on the other hand, she’s met (and tasered) gods, and she’d never be able to tell anyone back home about that. Here, she doesn’t think it would even raise eyebrows.

When you get right down to it, Darcy’s pretty sure that the worst thing about this place will be the climate. Six weeks in the desert with Jane was bad enough, and she’d _thought_  that would be it.

“Ugh, aren’t there any creepy New England towns they could have sent me to instead?” she gripes to Carlos the next morning, followed by a quick “don’t answer that.” She runs her fingers through her hair, which is  _really_  dry and frizzy. “Seriously, you’ve got to tell me what conditioner you use. Your hair is like, perfect.”


End file.
